Love is the only reason..

Love in a BoxOne friend wanted to know a real good reason besides “love” to work things out!!” I Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love in its truest state. To start with loving someone, you must first have God completely in control of this relationship. Alignment with God is necessary to be aligned with a mate, otherwise it will fail. Then you must ask yourself if your relationship embodies the verses said with the person you are with to decide IF you truly love that person. If you can accomplish those things.. then love is all that matters. A relationship built on anything will fail..

Rob and I have now been together for five years. For about three of them, I repeatedly told him a relationship couldn’t survive on love alone. That we needed to be financially stable, he had to accomplish certain things, etc. Fact is, I was dealing with insecurity. Deep in me, I wasn’t ready for what he had to offer. I also knew he wasn’t ready either. We both had to grow in our own rights. None of which had anything to do with what really mattered.

We eventually began to grow closer in Christ. We did increase our church presence, but it wasn’t about that. We began to apply what our Pastor was teaching and found when we followed the Word, God blessed our relationship and I, for one, understood what love really meant for the first time. I truly embodies what the scripture says. Your tongue becomes tame, you don’t seek validation, you truly become one; realizing what is done to the other, is also done to you. My understanding of relationships have been elevated, hence my reason for marrying.

It is love that will get you through the money issues, failed jobs and accomplishments, and life changes. It is love that will keep you when your body changes or loss a limb. Change is inevitable, but love is constant. Rob’s parents taught him one of the keys to maintaining a relationship is “ensuring at least one person loves at all times”. It matters. If both stop loving, that’s the beginning of a failed relationship; or maybe it has already failed. Love helped us to change because we wanted the best for each other.

So I started with asking if you can accomplish I Corinthians 13:4-7 with this person. AND.. if this is the same thing received. If this is truly love, then your relationship is worth fighting for. In other words, there is no other reason but love, to work things out.


The mind of the elderly..

Elderly CoupleToday, while enjoying lunch with my husband and oldest son, I noticed a late-model Buick LeSabre that seemed to be in mint condition. It was green and had no scrapes or nicks. The body was flawless and shined as if it were just washed. In the front seat was an elderly couple. The husband drove, what seemed to be their grandchildren. We later learned it was a couple, maybe a grandchild and their date. As they exited the car, I could see the interior of their car was impeccable. Only the seats, interior doors, and dashboard were visible, but it was enough to know the car was well-taken care of.

After they all got out of the car, my attention brought me to the elder couple who was at least 70 years old. Their behavior intrigued me and I smiled at their show affection. Once arriving near each other, they quickly held hands and walked toward the establishment proudly. Now basking in the ambience of their lasting love, it was their pride that most intrigued me. It was a certain aura about them, that had nothing to do with race or class. The closest similarity I can describe is the pride of Americans shortly in the 60’s.

The United States citizens took pride in what they produced, their surroundings, their households and themselves. They understood the value of hard work. Business owners stood behind their products. Sure, there was disparity between races, crime equivalent to their times, and the “American Pie” seemed distant to many low-class Americans. But people still had values and morales. Those who could own stores, paper routes, warehouse jobs, and positions we could not even fathom, knew the craftsmanship was done with finesse and care.

I talked to my husband and son about how America has changed. The funny thing is, none of us were old enough to have lived in that era. However, growing up in the seventies has afforded my husband and I the opportunity to see some of the life that still represented that era. No longer are the family owned corner store owners that knew your first name and could trust your bill will be paid on your next payday. Gone are the car manufactures that believe what they build is supposed to last. Now we get warranties for everything from electronics, to vehicles and tires, to appliances and homes. Pride in craftsmanship and personal property, care for neighbors and your neighborhood, and believe in standing for something; that is what is gone. People do not cherish relationships, care for their neighbors, or carry a set of values and morales they can reflect on situations.

We were all looking to the future, screaming for change. We are bearing arms and preparing for war against our brothers and sisters. We constantly state, behind closed doors, “it is not my problem”. We live in excess, forgetting our values and morals to have the most stuff; never caring for the things already acquired. Granted there are some things in the past, we would all wish never happened; but some are worth remembering and repeating. Chivalry, respect for self and others, care, and value in the things that represent you: God, family, home, and others.

That couple represented all that was good in people. From the moment their car rolled into the parking lot, I could see the pride in their car. How they exited the car and held hands, they were still partners in the struggle. How the elder male held the door while the family entered, he insisted he be alpha male and ensure everyone was cared for. And even how the elder wife waited few steps into the restaurant, while her husband held the door. Despite the difference my husband and I have with this couple, it was refreshing to see what my husband and I could aspire to be in years to come.