Seasons Change


So now you regret your decision. How convenient. After all the years and all of my tears, you want me back. As if you ever had me.


I was young. You were popular, funny, and everybody said you were a player. I kept my distance. Somehow we kept finding quiets moments to converse. The facade was fading. I was getting to know you. I knew I liked you. You were older. I knew I wasn’t ready. So I played the background. I watched as you juggled the bachelor life. You really didn’t notice me. I had some growing to do. I knew that. Over time, we grew as closer friends.


We both had just ended our relationships. We were free..and happy. We partied. We played spades. We laughed. We talked. About anything. And everything under the sun. We got to know each other intricately. Not sexually. Our thoughts became entangled as we bounced from music, to politics, and our lives histories. He likes Animal Planet. He’s allergic to seafood. I know things about this man, I am positive no other woman can. But, We both had just ended our relationships. We knew. He knew. Something was there. But he said take some time. Live a little. So I did.


We found fun with other people. We still played spades. We still talked. Now more than  before. I spent more time with him than his lady friends. I knew his schedule, where he hid his key, and password to his email. I finish his sentences. That drove him crazy. He taught me alot about men. He laughed at how well he taught me. Unknowingly. Our spirits..intertwined. Soul mates. Undeniably. I saw us grow. I was sure. It just made sense. I mentioned it to him. After all, we talked about everything. He said, it’s too soon. I wasn’t ready. Live some more. What will be will be.

I checked your email. There it was. You confessing your undying love for a ‘her’. You say its true, but we are and will always be friends. Ok. I let you have her. I must have made a mistake.


Your friend said you are married. About three months ago. I laugh. That’s a joke. He would have called. He would have called me. He would have told me something like this. When I talked to you, you said its true. Wow. What do you say? I don’t know how to feel.  Why do I feel anything? I was always the friend. So I choose to feel nothing. How dare I assume the connection was real. Congratulations. I hope she makes you happy. Time passes. She doesn’t. A Nightmare. 365 Day Bridezilla. Now you realize it was me all along.

I finish his sentences. That drives him crazy. He taught me a lot about men. He now regrets how well he taught me. Unknowingly. Our spirits..intertwined. Soul mates. Undeniably. We grow. I was sure. It just made sense.

So now you regret your decision. How convenient. After all the years and all of my tears, you want me back. As if you ever had me.


Love is the only reason..

Love in a BoxOne friend wanted to know a real good reason besides “love” to work things out!!” I Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love in its truest state. To start with loving someone, you must first have God completely in control of this relationship. Alignment with God is necessary to be aligned with a mate, otherwise it will fail. Then you must ask yourself if your relationship embodies the verses said with the person you are with to decide IF you truly love that person. If you can accomplish those things.. then love is all that matters. A relationship built on anything will fail..

Rob and I have now been together for five years. For about three of them, I repeatedly told him a relationship couldn’t survive on love alone. That we needed to be financially stable, he had to accomplish certain things, etc. Fact is, I was dealing with insecurity. Deep in me, I wasn’t ready for what he had to offer. I also knew he wasn’t ready either. We both had to grow in our own rights. None of which had anything to do with what really mattered.

We eventually began to grow closer in Christ. We did increase our church presence, but it wasn’t about that. We began to apply what our Pastor was teaching and found when we followed the Word, God blessed our relationship and I, for one, understood what love really meant for the first time. I truly embodies what the scripture says. Your tongue becomes tame, you don’t seek validation, you truly become one; realizing what is done to the other, is also done to you. My understanding of relationships have been elevated, hence my reason for marrying.

It is love that will get you through the money issues, failed jobs and accomplishments, and life changes. It is love that will keep you when your body changes or loss a limb. Change is inevitable, but love is constant. Rob’s parents taught him one of the keys to maintaining a relationship is “ensuring at least one person loves at all times”. It matters. If both stop loving, that’s the beginning of a failed relationship; or maybe it has already failed. Love helped us to change because we wanted the best for each other.

So I started with asking if you can accomplish I Corinthians 13:4-7 with this person. AND.. if this is the same thing received. If this is truly love, then your relationship is worth fighting for. In other words, there is no other reason but love, to work things out.